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SOPHILIA'S HAPPY MEETIUM

February 5, 2020

#complexptsd #effectivetreatments #sophilialarkwoodbury
​COMPLEX PTSD TREATMENTS (FIRST LINE APPROACHES)// When it comes to treating complex PTSD, there have been many recommendations about the best way to help sufferers heal from the debilitating condition. This video explains first line approaches for cptsd treatment as recommended by trauma experts in terms of evidenced-based approaches as effective first line treatments for managing cptsd. The treatment options are embodied in two primary approaches including the phase-based treatment model and the trauma-informed treatment model. Watch here to see which model the experts recommend.
​​

January 29, 2020

#complexptsd #effectivetreatments #sophilialarkwoodbury
COMPLEX PTSD TREATMENTS (FIRST LINE APPROACHES)// When it comes to treating complex PTSD, there have been many recommendations about the best way to help sufferers heal from the debilitating condition. This video explains first line approaches for cptsd treatment as recommended by trauma experts in terms of evidenced-based approaches as effective first line treatments for managing cptsd. The treatment options are embodied in two primary approaches including the phase-based treatment model and the trauma-informed treatment model. Watch here to see which model the experts recommend.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:
Website:
https://www.thehappymeetium.com/

God Space Creators Facebook Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/42091...

RESEARCH ICD-11 Complex PTSD Review Article:
https://www.ptsd.va.gov/professional/...

Treatment of Complex PTSD: Expert clinician survey - file:///C:/Users/User/Downloads/Treatment_of_complex_PTSD_Results_of_the_ISTSS_exp.pdf

FREE Guides and Checklists:

Body Awareness Mind-Body Guide:
https://thehappymeetium.lpages.co/bod...

Religious Trauma Recovery guide:
https://thehappymeetium.lpages.co/rel...

Social: Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/slarkwoodbury/
Twitter:
https://twitter.com/TheHappyMeetium Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sophilia.lark.3 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sophilial... TWEET THIS VIDEO: https://ctt.ac/3Qb96

Royalty-Free motivational and inspirational music obtained from Free Music Archive.com and Zapsplat.com.
• Obsibilo: Soixante-8 (Free Music Archive)
• Audio Hero: Dream of Grandeur (Zapsplat)
• Mr. Mason: Jazz (Zapsplat)
• Scott Holmes: Positive and Fun (Free Music Archive)

​CREDIT: Subscribe Button by RjTech2K-
https://mega.nz/#!aNI2mIiY!-xuRXHBWfO...

January 22, 2020

#cptsd #trauma #cptsdsigns #sophilialarkwoodbury TRAUMA AND THE BODY (WHAT ARE THE SIGNS OF COMPLEX PTSD?)// What is the difference between complex PTSD and standard PTSD, and how can you recognize the signs? Complex trauma and its effects can spawn great suffering in a variety of forms. This video will share the symptoms, traits, and common patterns of CPTSD that distinguish is from standard PTSD so that you’ll have better understanding of what complex PTSD behavior looks like and how it both relates to and is different from traditional PTSD.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Website:
https://www.thehappymeetium.com/

God Space Creators Facebook Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/42091...

RESEARCH ICD-11 Complex PTSD Review Article:
https://www.ptsd.va.gov/professional/...

FREE Guides and Checklists:

Body Awareness Mind-Body Guide:
https://thehappymeetium.lpages.co/bod...

Religious Trauma Recovery guide:
https://thehappymeetium.lpages.co/rel...

Social:

Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/slarkwoodbury/
Twitter:
https://twitter.com/TheHappyMeetium Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sophilia.lark.3 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sophilial...

TWEET THIS VIDEO:
https://ctt.ac/DmznI

Royalty-Free motivational and inspirational music obtained from Free Music Archive.com and Zapsplat.com.

• Obsibilo: Soixante-8 (Free Music Archive)
• Audio Hero: Dream of Grandeur (Zapsplat)
• Mr. Mason: Jazz (Zapsplat)
​• Scott Holmes: Positive and Fun (Free Music Archive)

January 15, 2020

​#bodyawareness #activities #healingtrauma BODY AWARENESS ACTIVITIES (HEALING TRAUMA THROUGH BODY AWARENESS FOR DEEPER WISDOM AND GROWTH)// Need guidance on healing the mind, body, and spirit after trauma? The keys to health and healing starts with understanding how trauma gets stuck in the body and then fostering body awareness to release trauma to heal the physical body. This video will show you the key steps for healing trauma through body awareness for deeper wisdom and growth. You’ll learn how to attend and befriend the body and jump start its natural rhythm to rebound from trauma and achieve long-lasting holistic health.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Website:
https://www.thehappymeetium.com/

God Space Creators Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/42091...

Centre for Clinical Interventions Progressive Muscle Relaxation Script: https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/~/me...

FREE Guides and Checklists:

Body Awareness Mind-Body Guide:
https://thehappymeetium.lpages.co/bod...

Religious Trauma Recovery guide: https://thehappymeetium.lpages.co/rel...

Social:

Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/slarkwoodbury/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHappyMeetium

Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/sophilia.lark.3

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sophilial...

TWEET THIS VIDEO: https://ctt.ac/ecL3m

Royalty-Free motivational and inspirational music obtained from Free Music Archive.com and Zapsplat.com.

• Obsibilo: Soixante-8 (Free Music Archive)

• Audio Hero: Dream of Grandeur (Zapsplat)

• Mr. Mason: Jazz (Zapsplat)

• Scott Holmes: Positive and Fun (Free Music Archive)

CREDIT: Subscribe Button by MrNumber112


Youtube Video link: https://youtu.be/nukbjzZ48cY

#bodyawareness #activities #healingtrauma

January 8, 2020

#traumarecovery #OCDrecovery #Mentalhealth TRAUMA AND RECOVERY FROM OCD FOR COMPLETE FREEDOM// Want to gain complete freedom from OCD? Maybe you’ve been through a traumatic experience or several traumatic experiences and have developed obsessive compulsive disorder as a result. This video aims to help you learn the truth about OCD and what you need to know as a trauma survivor to cope with and achieve recovery from trauma-related OCD. You’ll learn the symptoms and therapy options such as exposure and response prevention therapy to help you deal with intrusive sensations, urges, and emotions.

RESOURCES MENTIONED: Website:
https://www.thehappymeetium.com/

Self-screening for OCD:
https://adaa.org/screening-obsessive-...

What is EMDR therapy?:
https://www.healthline.com/health/emd...

God Space Creators Facebook Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/42091...

RESEARCH:

Trauma-related OCD:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/arti...

http://www.jneuropsychiatry.org/peer-...

FREE Guides and Checklists:

Body Awareness Mind-Body Guide:
https://thehappymeetium.lpages.co/bod...

CBT worksheet (evidence gathering):
https://www.iwanttochangemylife.org/t...

Religious Trauma Recovery guide:
https://thehappymeetium.lpages.co/rel...

Social:

Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/slarkwoodbury/

Twitter:
https://twitter.com/TheHappyMeetium

Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/sophilia.lark.3

LinkedIn:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/sophilial...

TWEET THIS VIDEO: https://ctt.ac/2bYZa

Royalty-Free motivational and inspirational music obtained from Free Music Archive.com and Zapsplat.com.

• Obsibilo: Soixante-8 (Free Music Archive)
• Audio Hero: Dream of Grandeur (Zapsplat)
• Mr. Mason: Jazz (Zapsplat)
• Scott Holmes: Positive and Fun (Free Music Archive)

CREDIT: Subscribe Button by MrNumber112


Youtube Video link: https://youtu.be/DfCyY37H7eA

#traumarecovery #OCDrecovery #Mentalhealth

January 1, 2020

#traumaandOCD, #mentalhealthtreatmentforOCD, #sophilialarkwoodbury

CAN TRAUMA CAUSE OCD (TRAUMA AND OCD GO TOGETHER)// Can trauma cause OCD? Increasingly, people are asking questions about the interplay between obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and traumatic experiences. This is because after experiencing a traumatic event, many recognize obsessive-compulsive disorder symptoms that were not present in their lives before the trauma. Trauma can often spell the origins of OCD and have a significant impact on recovery. This video explains how OCD can be a sign of trauma in many cases and how common it is for trauma and OCD to go together. This video will also briefly address the science of how trauma-related OCD works and how it can be healed.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Website:
https://www.thehappymeetium.com/

Self-screening for OCD:
https://adaa.org/screening-obsessive-...

God Space Creators Facebook Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/42091...

RESEARCH:
Trauma-related OCD:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/arti... http://www.jneuropsychiatry.org/peer-...

FREE Guides and Checklists:

Body Awareness Mind-Body Guide:
https://thehappymeetium.lpages.co/bod...

Church Trauma Healing Checklist:
https://thehappymeetium.lpages.co/chu...

Small group leadership guide:
https://thehappymeetium.lpages.co/the... Religious Trauma Recovery guide: https://thehappymeetium.lpages.co/rel...

Social: Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/slarkwoodbury/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHappyMeetium Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sophilia.lark.3 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sophilial...

​Royalty-Free motivational and inspirational music obtained from Free Music Archive.com and Zapsplat.com

Obsibilo: Soixante-8 (Free Music Archive)
Audio Hero: Dream of Grandeur (Zapsplat)
Mr. Mason: Jazz (Zapsplat)

CREDIT: Subscribe Button by MrNumber112
https://youtu.be/Fps5vWgKdl0

Youtube video link:
https://youtu.be/AocXiEaIPIw

December 18, 2019

#holidaysadness #copewithloneliness #sophilialarkwoodbury HOLIDAY SADNESS (WHAT TO DO TO COPE WITH LONELINESS))// Looking for tips to manage loneliness during the holidays? Celebrating the holidays when you’re alone can be a stressful time, leaving you scratching your head about what to do to cope with loneliness. But there are ways you can healthfully spend the holidays alone and thrive. If you struggle with holiday sadness, seasonal affective disorder, or depression around the holidays and are looking for tips for managing stress and sadness, this video will show you 3 tips to fight holiday sadness and cope with loneliness.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Website:
https://www.thehappymeetium.com/ The Purpose of Christmas by Rick Warren: https://www.amazon.com/Purpose-Christ...
Safety Planning worksheet:
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org...
Research:  Mechanisms of change in Interpersonal Therapy (IPT):
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/arti...  Interpersonal Psychotherapy (IPT) for PTSD: A Case study https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/arti...
FREE Guides and Checklists: Church Trauma Healing Checklist:
https://thehappymeetium.lpages.co/chu...
Small group leadership guide:
https://thehappymeetium.lpages.co/the... Religious Trauma Recovery guide: https://thehappymeetium.lpages.co/rel...

SOCIAL:

Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/slarkwoodbury/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHappyMeetium Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sophilia.lark.3 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sophilial...

Royalty-Free motivational and inspirational music obtained from Free Music Archive.com and Zapsplat.com.
• Audio Hero: Dream of Grandeur (Zapsplat)
• Obsibilo: Soixante-8 (Free Music Archive)
• Makaih Beats: Love Chances (Zapsplat)
​• Mr. Mason: Jazz (Zapsplat)

December 11, 2019

#healingtrauma #mindbody #biblicalapproaches #traumaandbrain EMOTIONAL TRAUMA AND THE BRAIN (BIBLICAL APPROACHES TO HEALING MIND AND BODY))// Many wonder if the Bible speaks to contemporary issues such as emotional trauma and the brain. Emotional trauma healing takes an understanding of traumatic effects on the brain, effects on behavior, and if the trauma started in childhood, an understanding of its effects on child development. The Bible does, in fact, speak to trauma, and offers examples of how a person can achieve deeper healing in the spirit, brain, mind and body. If you have experienced emotional trauma and wonder if the Bible offers help in on how to heal, this video will show you 6 Biblical approaches to healing mind and body.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:
Website:
https://www.thehappymeetium.com/ Church Trauma Healing Checklist: https://thehappymeetium.lpages.co/chu...

FREE Guides and Checklists: Small group leadership guide:
https://thehappymeetium.lpages.co/the... Religious Trauma Recovery guide: https://thehappymeetium.lpages.co/rel...

SOCIAL: Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/slarkwoodbury/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHappyMeetium Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sophilia.lark.3 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sophilial...

Royalty-Free motivational and inspirational music obtained from Free Music Archive.com and Zapsplat.com.
• Mid-Air Machine: Untamed Wings (Zapsplat)
• Makaih Beats: Love Chances (Zapsplat)
• Mr. Mason: Jazz (Zapsplat)
• Livio Amato: Desiree (Zapsplat)
​
CREDIT: Subscribe Button by MrNumber112
https://youtu.be/Fps5vWgKdl0
#traumainformed #organizationalsuccess #trauminformedorganization
TRAUMA-INFORMED APPROACH KEY TO ORGANIZATIONAL SUCCESS))// Organizational trauma is a real phenomenon that affects thousands of organizations on a daily basis. The key to resolving the tragedy of workplace anxiety, stress, and hostility lies in an approach where leaders understand that in order to transform their organizations, they must promote a culture of safety that empowers their followers embrace the organizational mission as their own and implement collaborative practices that brings the organizational vision to life. This video will discuss 3 top benefits of a trauma-informed approach to creating organizational success.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:
Website:
http://www.thehappymeetium.com/contac... Church Trauma Healing Checklist: https://thehappymeetium.lpages.co/chu...

FREE Guides and Checklists: Small group leadership guide:
https://thehappymeetium.lpages.co/the... Religious Trauma Recovery guide: https://thehappymeetium.lpages.co/rel...

Social:
​Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/slarkwoodbury/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHappyMeetium Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sophilia.lark.3 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sophilial...

Royalty-Free motivational and inspirational music obtained from Free Music Archive.com and Zapsplat.com.

• Mid-Air Machine: Untamed Wings (Zapsplat)
• Makaih Beats: Love Chances (Zapsplat)
• Mr. Mason: Jazz (Zapsplat)
• CREDIT: Subscribe Button by MrNumber112
https://youtu.be/Fps5vWgKdl0
#complextrauma #healing #lifeofpurpose
3 WAYS TO OVERCOMING TRAUMA (HOW TO HEAL COMPLEX TRAUMA))// After becoming aware that you suffer from the effects and symptoms of complex trauma, what happens next? The healing stage can be just as scary as the memories of trauma, but it is what is necessary to begin a new, healthy life that acknowledges your uniqueness and purpose. All human beings are created with purpose, not necessarily according to the parents, but according to the creator. This is the lens through which we can come to know the true meaning for our lives and how we can live with intentional and safe connectedness with others. This video provides a 3-stage process for how a person can heal from complex trauma and lead a fulfilling life.
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
Website:
http://www.thehappymeetium.com/contac... Attachment Healing Worksheet: https://thehappymeetium.lpages.co/att...
Daily Inventory of Character management sheet:
https://thehappymeetium.lpages.co/dai...
FREE Guides and Checklists: Small group leadership guide:
https://thehappymeetium.lpages.co/the... Religious Trauma Recovery guide: https://thehappymeetium.lpages.co/rel...
Social:
Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/slarkwoodbury/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHappyMeetium Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sophilia.lark.3 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sophilial...

​Royalty-Free motivational and inspirational music obtained from Free Music Archive.com and Zapsplat.com. • Mid-Air Machine: Untamed Wings (Zapsplat) • Makaih Beats: Love Chances (Zapsplat) • Mr. Mason: Jazz (Zapsplat) CREDIT: Subscribe Button by MrNumber112
https://youtu.be/Fps5vWgKdl0
#traumatalk #trauma-conscious #reconciliation HEALING THE WOUNDS OF TRAUMA: CHURCH’S ROLE IN HEALING TRAUMA// The church, particularly small groups can play a crucial role in helping individuals with difficult personalities and presentations navigate painful experiences and find healing and wholeness. However, this is not just a trial-and-error, “see what sticks” kind of approach to helping those in need. Leaders need basic understanding and skills to facilitate a process that demonstrates the trauma-informed core principles of safety, trust, support, collaboration, empowerment and humility. This video will walk you through 4 simple steps to help groups members and other leaders play a key role in healing trauma in the church.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:
Website:
https://www.thehappymeetium.com/conta... Peace making principles guide: https://www.cmalliance.org/resources/...
The Small Group Leadership Guide:
https://thehappymeetium.lpages.co/the...

Other Free Resources: Religious Trauma Recovery Guide:
https://thehappymeetium.lpages.co/rel...
​
Social: Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/slarkwoodbury/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHappyMeetium Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sophilia.lark.3 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sophilial...

Royalty-Free motivational and inspirational music obtained from Free Music Archive.com and Zapsplat.com.
Audio Hero: Dream of Grandeur (Zapsplat)
Scott Holmes: Our Big Adventure (Free Music Archive)
CREDIT: Subscribe Button by MrNumber112
https://youtu.be/Fps5vWgKdl0
CLERGY ABUSE (HOW CHURCHES CAN PREVENT IT)// Since the mid-twentieth century, church sexual abuse scandals have rocked the foundations of the body of Christ as allegations, convictions, new revelations and cover ups filled the news reports with fodder for public consumption and Christian shame. Only recently, after deafening outcries around the world, has the church stepped up its efforts to implement reform to laws and policies that have for too long, aided in the cover up of child sexual abuse by priests, pastors, bishops and nuns. This video discusses 4 ways the church can prevent clergy abuse and help congregations heal. ​

RESOURCES MENTIONED: Website: https://www.thehappymeetium.com/conta... The Small Group Leadership Guide: https://thehappymeetium.lpages.co/the... Pope Issues new Catholic church laws on sexual abuse: https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/... Southern Baptist Convention sexual abuse accountability measures: https://www.npr.org/2019/06/12/731919... Social: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/slarkwoodbury/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHappyMeetium Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sophilia.lark.3 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sophilial... ​

MOST COMMON PSYCHOLOGICAL TRAUMA SYMPTOMS// According to the The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), women are more likely than men to develop PTSD symptoms because they are more prone to rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse as a child. According to a research study from the McGill Journal of Medicine, many women victims experience PTSD within the first 2 weeks following the incident. This video explores some of the most common psychological trauma symptoms that people experience, particularly women, after they encounter a disturbing event that exceeds their capacity to cope effectively.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:
​Website:
https://www.thehappymeetium.com/conta...
The Small Group Leadership Guide:
https://thehappymeetium.lpages.co/the...
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI):
https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/...
Sexual assault and posttraumatic stress disorder article by Kaitlin Chivers-Wilson:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/arti...

Social: Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/slarkwoodbury/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHappyMeetium Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sophilia.lark.3 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sophilial...

HEALING RELATIONSHIPS IN SMALL GROUPS// Trauma comes in many forms and has many sources, but one of the most prominent sources of trauma is relationships. Whether through spousal abuse, family abuse, religious abuse, community abuse, etc., relational trauma requires healing in a relational context. This video discusses 3 ways that safe small groups can help women who have experienced relational trauma achieve healing through trauma-conscious practices that validate, empower, and propel them toward spiritual and psychological growth. ​

ISSUES OF THE CHURCH (WHY CHURCHES AVOID CONTROVERSIAL TOPICS)// God is love and as followers of Christ we make it our goal to reflect this love in our daily interactions with others. But, the love of Christ is not only demonstrated in those things that are pleasant to do, feel, or see, but it is also shown in dealing with the hard things – things some people deem as controversial – if we do them with gentleness and respect. This video dives into some of the “taboo” topics of the church and explores 3 top reasons why many churches avoid broaching these subjects, leaving room for the outside world to fill that space. ​
FAITH AND MENTAL HEALTH (SHOULD PEOPLE WITH MENTAL ILLNESS BE CHURCH LEADERS?)// With the recent onslaught of public suicides and the renunciation of faith among pastors and influential church leaders, many are wondering if people who openly struggle with mental illness are qualified to be leaders in the church. No doubt, satan has struck a mighty blow within the body of Christ, but those who have ears to hear and eyes to see what the spirit is saying know that God is always in control. His plans cannot be wiped out, no matter the depth of attack satan inflicts. This video discusses the recent suicide of Jarrid Wilson, pastor of Harvest Church in Riverside, CA, and two opposing viewpoints in response to that event. ​
WHY CHURCHES DON’T TALK ABOUT TRAUMA// There is a giant elephant in the room, and nobody wants to talk about it. Trauma is one of the most ubiquitous psychological struggles in the world, and the one entity that is supposed to be binding up the broken-hearted, proclaiming freedom for the captives, and defending the oppressed is silent on it. If you haven’t already guessed, IT’S THE CHURCH! Why is it that the one place people are supposed to trust for its safety the most silent organization on the issue of trauma? This video begins the RADICAL RED RANT series where discussion is focused on controversial topics that churches often avoid. This video will specifically discuss why churches don’t talk about trauma and provider deeper insight about changes that could be made.
3 KEY WAYS TO RESPOND TO DISRUPTIVE BEHAVIOR IN SMALL GROUP// In a perfect world, small group leadership would be totally inspirational, motivational, God-honoring, and growth-oriented. There would be no need to game plan for disruptive behavior or boundary violations in small groups, but we do not live in a perfect world. Leadership is sometimes hard, particularly as it relates to confronting boundary violations and managing disruptive behavior in small groups. This is often because leaders fear the exacerbation of conflict or that they will upset the person they’re confronting and cause him or her to leave the group. But effective leadership sometimes requires hard decisions and approaches to maintain the integrity of the group and keep all members safe. To do this, a leader needs to learn 3 key boundary violation intervention skills (BVIS). This video will show you how. ​
HEALING FROM RELIGIOUS TRAUMA: 5 STEPS THAT LED TO MY RECOVERY FROM RELIGIOUS ABUSE// Most people have never heard of Religious Trauma Syndrome (RTS) primarily because it is not an official DSM diagnosis, and because it is still considered strange or in some cases, taboo, to raise questions about toxic faith and abuse in religion and the church. But, RTS is a real phenomenon, and it has exacted a horrendous toll on hundreds of thousands of people who will carry its scars for life. But, here’s the good news: it is possible to recover from RTS and live a fully thriving and meaningful life. This video will show church small group leaders and congregants alike how to create God space to access God’s power for strength to choose life-giving responses that lead to growth and freedom. ​

Week 5: Expressing my true self with satisfaction

12/30/2017

0 Comments

 
Anxiety, fear, insecurity... these pests often try to sneak their way into my life's plan when they think I'm not looking, but I'm quick to remind them that I'm not the scared soul I used to be. Those days are over. But, you know what's ironic? They somehow get their first cousin, doubt, to linger just long enough to get me to question whether or not I've really let go. 

The truth is that I'm not just aware that I am not my weight or my disorder, but I am also equipped to combat doubt with what I value the most, which includes my faith, relationships, and meaningful work. This (what I value most), as Dr. Carolyn Coker Ross explains, is what helps me to move toward a life of soul satisfaction. 

That is, because I am able to focus on my faith, nurture significant relationships, and enjoy work that gives me meaning and purpose, I can, in turn, experience satisfaction at the deepest levels without worry or fear. I can be inquisitive and ask hard questions without fear of rejection; I can do the things I love without a sense of self-consciousness or shame.

My true self is who I always wanted to be when I was a child and adolescent, but did not have the latitude or encouragement to become. Now that I'm living in my true identity, I understand the urgency to achieve self-healing, allowing me to jettison the chains of the past and to experience deeper more authentic connection with the world. 

My hope for you: that as we go through this next year, you will experience the joy of becoming your own healing artist and empowered change agent so that you can pay it forward and help other moms like us experience the hope and empowerment we enjoy for a lifetime. Here's to a very happy and healthy New Year. 2018 here we come!!!

pour ta santé. À Tout à l'Heure
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Week 4: Legacy

12/23/2017

0 Comments

 
These days, we hear a lot of talk about legacy and what a person hopes to be remembered for once leave the Earth. As I've come to know myself more fully over the last several years, I now understand Steven R. Covey's statement, "Begin with the end in mind" with more depth. For most of my life, I had no clear perspective of the purpose of my existence in terms of how I fit into the world. I toiled in the fields of dissociation for years, feeling as if my contributions had no significant implications for the progress of humankind. Then one day, I experienced an "ah ha!" moment that led to the realization that I would only feel connected to humankind if I actually took the time to connect with humankind. Wow! what an amazing insight! (sarcasm). 

You see, I had been waiting to be suddenly heralded as the "sister of kindness" or the "daughter of peace," but who even knew of me, let alone my work of service? Even though I was doing good things in my own eyes, I was also neglecting a vital part of societal contribution: building relationships and connecting with others. Once I started to connect with other people, I not only began to see my purpose, but I began living my purpose with a seemingly surreal certainty. 

I've come to realize the importance of beginning today with the picture of how I truly want to be remembered when my time on Earth comes to a close. Knowing what I want my end to be helps me to constantly assess my values to determine if my lifestyle is in alignment with that goal. Since discovering my true self, this has become my life's mission: To demonstrate the character and moral fortitude that reveals at the end of life -  a woman who was always one step ahead in service to others; an awakened woman who knew her purpose and worked tirelessly to ensure that every person she met experienced true relationship and honor; a visionary who was attuned to holistic health and taught others to do the same; and lastly, a godly woman who, despite her flaws, lived out her purpose in her generation with faith, hope and love. 

Have you thought about what you would like people to say about you once you are no longer here to defend yourself? I challenge you to write out your mission and think about the life you're living now. Does it measure up to how you want to be remembered? I hope you're on the right track. Let's continue to help one another grow while we are here on the Earth. 

pour ta santé

Sophilia
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TAM-TAD Script

12/21/2017

0 Comments

 
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The "Mom"ent e-guide

12/21/2017

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Week 3: Perception shifting toward health and freedom

12/16/2017

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Over the last year, I have intentionally engaged in a practice called perception or paradigm shifting. This is where I have assessed the images, views, thoughts, and core beliefs I hold in my head of the world around me, and determined if they represented reality or a warped picture of reality. Dr. Carolyn Coker Ross described warped perceptions as living in a dream. Furthermore, Dr. Steven R. Covey described the images or paradigms we hold in our heads as ways of perceiving, understanding, or interpreting the events in our environment. They are like maps that point to or explain something else, but they are not themselves the thing they are pointing to. 

Perception is like a map in that it serves to help us make meaning of our surroundings, but it is not the surrounding. Covey noted that we have many maps (i.e., paradigms/perceptions) in our heads; some representing reality (the way things are) and others representing the way things should be (i.e., expression of our personal values based on our core beliefs developed from past experiences). These maps help us to make sense of the things we see and experience, and because we have used them for so long, we may be oblivious to the possibility that they are steering us in the wrong direction. Since we have been conditioned from childhood to see the world a certain way, it may not occur to us that our perceptions of life are distorted and not at all true depictions of the way things actually are.  In order to change these perceptions or paradigms, we must, as Dr. Ross stated, "Wake up from the dream."

Perception shifting is how I have awaken from the "dream" in various areas of my life, and I am now applying it to end my battle with food.  Allow me to share a personal story to illustrate this practice. When I was in elementary school (I forget what age I was or what grade I was in at the time) but I was interested in becoming a cheerleader and wanted to participate in tryouts. I went home filled with joy as I approached my mom with the parent permission slip and the question, "Can I try out for the cheer leading team?" What followed would change my life for decades. "No," she said. "That's not what sanctified girls do."  Now, I don't think those were her exact words at that particular time, but I had heard those words far too many times in my childhood to keep count. Essentially, she told me that I could not try out to become a cheerleader because the act of "kicking up in a short skirt" went against the biblical teachings of "modest dress" and "godliness." 

This event and others like it taught me that I was different from other people, and I gradually internalized this message as a personal belief. I believed that my being different was synonymous with not being able to do things I was passionate about, which ultimately kept me silent, unacknowledged, and my talents underdeveloped. The vicious cycle of "different" equaling "can't do," caused me to have serious doubts about my abilities, and it soon led me to believe that other people also had doubts about my capabilities, which in turn, deepened my sense of inadequacy and worthlessness. This is when I began looking for ways to soothe my pain and cope with my feelings of being different. I found that comfort in food. 

But, soon, food began bringing about its own series of problems, and that is when I knew it was time to examine the deep roots of my thoughts and feelings as they related to inadequacy, unworthiness, not being enough, and being "different." This is when I discovered many of my childhood core beliefs and how they came to represent my perception of myself, the world and the people around me (i.e., no one cared about what I had to offer, I was not good enough, my contributions didn't matter, I was too different to relate to or make an impact on others). 

But, the shift in perception came when I started to provide evidence to the contrary; that is, I collected data that showed how I had done things like writing, singing, dancing, teaching, mentoring, coaching, and listening that had made a significant impact on the lives of other people. I had been given compliments, praise and rewards for my contributions. This is when I realized that the invalidating statements my mom made to me during childhood, which led to my distorted core beliefs that my contributions did not matter, were not true at all. 

I developed confidence in my new core belief that my contributions did matter because other people had benefited from them and had let me know about it. I built on this foundation by working with therapists and coaches to get clear on my new direction, by taking healing arts courses, and by doing my own self-help work to consistently challenge the old core belief that what I had to offer was not valued or wanted. Through perception shifting - changing the way I see the world based on facts - I was able to develop new paradigms about my worth, capabilities and contributions.

I now recognize my own abilities and skills as worthy and needed by others. This has allowed me to understand that I don't need to self-soothe using food because I am no longer searching to be recognized or valued. I originally used food to soothe a deep need for validation, recognition, and acceptance. But now that I have found my true self, being who I was meant to be from the beginning is more than enough to satisfy my mind, body, and soul without having to use food as a mediator.

To your health (pour ta santé),

​Sophilia





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Week 2: Six months to go...here comes the real me!

12/7/2017

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I've been thinking a lot about just how much I have changed emotionally and psychologically to arrive at the point where I am decisively able to set a deadline to show my real self without regret.  I never imagined that something like this was possible, let alone attainable, but here I am going raw in every facet of my existence, breaking free and living with purpose.

When I thought about how I would chronicle my "coming out," I had the idea to just shout it from the rooftops and let the world know that I had arrived, but as great as that sounded, I knew that wasn't my style. I wanted to be authentic and transparent from the jump, and from years of experience of being those things privately, I felt the best way to be those things publicly was to first let my natural persona whisper, then speak softly, and finally utter my truth with confidence and authority. 

My day in a nutshell: 

Ultimate goal: End my battle with food.
Current task: Eradicate dysfunctional core beliefs and build new structures that perpetuate healthy thoughts, feelings, and actions. 
What I did today: I used Carolyn Coker Ross's "Emotional eating" workbook to examine my current core beliefs as they relate to binge eating and compulsive overeating. 
Struggles: I totally blew my diet this evening after having spent a good part of the day exercising, meditating, and watching what I put into my body. Now I'm struggling with guilt of having worked so hard only to watch another good start go down the drain. 
Successes: Meal prep has been a life saver as I can turn to the food I have packed for mobility so I won't have any excuses for eating out. I also spoke with my doctor and got a referral to start seeing a nutritionist within the next few weeks. 
What I can do to make tomorrow more effective: I need to pay attention to the core beliefs dealing with inadequacy, invisibility, and lack of trust. It is when I feel some connection to these beliefs that I am more likely to eat compulsively or binge on comfort foods. 
Next week's teaser: I will share how I have worked through many of my negative core beliefs from childhood by challenging those beliefs through perception shifting. 

If I'm being honest, I still struggle with some negative core beliefs, but none of them hold sway over my life the way they did for so many years. I'm not just aware of them, but I have the tools to combat them. They no longer have a stranglehold on me to keep me from fighting back. That is the difference. But there are times when I feel sad or unsure about something that they try to creep back in. This is when I use my resources to fight back whether it is calling a friend, meditating, talking a walk, or making something creative. The goal is not just to take away with negative thing, but to also replace it with something that empowers and inspires. 

To your health (pour ta santé)! 

​Sophilia
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    Sophilia Lark-Woodbury

    I am a healing artist, and I believe it is my mission to help other moms like me become masterful life synthesizers and empowered agents through the healing arts. 

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