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Sophilia's Happy Meetium
#traumainformed #organizationalsuccess #trauminformedorganization
TRAUMA-INFORMED APPROACH KEY TO ORGANIZATIONAL SUCCESS))// Organizational trauma is a real phenomenon that affects thousands of organizations on a daily basis. The key to resolving the tragedy of workplace anxiety, stress, and hostility lies in an approach where leaders understand that in order to transform their organizations, they must promote a culture of safety that empowers their followers embrace the organizational mission as their own and implement collaborative practices that brings the organizational vision to life. This video will discuss 3 top benefits of a trauma-informed approach to creating organizational success.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:
Website:
http://www.thehappymeetium.com/contac... Church Trauma Healing Checklist: https://thehappymeetium.lpages.co/chu...

FREE Guides and Checklists: Small group leadership guide:
https://thehappymeetium.lpages.co/the... Religious Trauma Recovery guide: https://thehappymeetium.lpages.co/rel...

Social:
​Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/slarkwoodbury/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHappyMeetium Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sophilia.lark.3 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sophilial...

Royalty-Free motivational and inspirational music obtained from Free Music Archive.com and Zapsplat.com.

• Mid-Air Machine: Untamed Wings (Zapsplat)
• Makaih Beats: Love Chances (Zapsplat)
• Mr. Mason: Jazz (Zapsplat)
• CREDIT: Subscribe Button by MrNumber112
https://youtu.be/Fps5vWgKdl0
#complextrauma #healing #lifeofpurpose
3 WAYS TO OVERCOMING TRAUMA (HOW TO HEAL COMPLEX TRAUMA))// After becoming aware that you suffer from the effects and symptoms of complex trauma, what happens next? The healing stage can be just as scary as the memories of trauma, but it is what is necessary to begin a new, healthy life that acknowledges your uniqueness and purpose. All human beings are created with purpose, not necessarily according to the parents, but according to the creator. This is the lens through which we can come to know the true meaning for our lives and how we can live with intentional and safe connectedness with others. This video provides a 3-stage process for how a person can heal from complex trauma and lead a fulfilling life.
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
Website:
http://www.thehappymeetium.com/contac... Attachment Healing Worksheet: https://thehappymeetium.lpages.co/att...
Daily Inventory of Character management sheet:
https://thehappymeetium.lpages.co/dai...
FREE Guides and Checklists: Small group leadership guide:
https://thehappymeetium.lpages.co/the... Religious Trauma Recovery guide: https://thehappymeetium.lpages.co/rel...
Social:
Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/slarkwoodbury/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHappyMeetium Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sophilia.lark.3 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sophilial...

​Royalty-Free motivational and inspirational music obtained from Free Music Archive.com and Zapsplat.com. • Mid-Air Machine: Untamed Wings (Zapsplat) • Makaih Beats: Love Chances (Zapsplat) • Mr. Mason: Jazz (Zapsplat) CREDIT: Subscribe Button by MrNumber112
https://youtu.be/Fps5vWgKdl0
#traumatalk #trauma-conscious #reconciliation HEALING THE WOUNDS OF TRAUMA: CHURCH’S ROLE IN HEALING TRAUMA// The church, particularly small groups can play a crucial role in helping individuals with difficult personalities and presentations navigate painful experiences and find healing and wholeness. However, this is not just a trial-and-error, “see what sticks” kind of approach to helping those in need. Leaders need basic understanding and skills to facilitate a process that demonstrates the trauma-informed core principles of safety, trust, support, collaboration, empowerment and humility. This video will walk you through 4 simple steps to help groups members and other leaders play a key role in healing trauma in the church.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:
Website:
https://www.thehappymeetium.com/conta... Peace making principles guide: https://www.cmalliance.org/resources/...
The Small Group Leadership Guide:
https://thehappymeetium.lpages.co/the...

Other Free Resources: Religious Trauma Recovery Guide:
https://thehappymeetium.lpages.co/rel...
​
Social: Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/slarkwoodbury/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHappyMeetium Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sophilia.lark.3 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sophilial...

Royalty-Free motivational and inspirational music obtained from Free Music Archive.com and Zapsplat.com.
Audio Hero: Dream of Grandeur (Zapsplat)
Scott Holmes: Our Big Adventure (Free Music Archive)
CREDIT: Subscribe Button by MrNumber112
https://youtu.be/Fps5vWgKdl0
CLERGY ABUSE (HOW CHURCHES CAN PREVENT IT)// Since the mid-twentieth century, church sexual abuse scandals have rocked the foundations of the body of Christ as allegations, convictions, new revelations and cover ups filled the news reports with fodder for public consumption and Christian shame. Only recently, after deafening outcries around the world, has the church stepped up its efforts to implement reform to laws and policies that have for too long, aided in the cover up of child sexual abuse by priests, pastors, bishops and nuns. This video discusses 4 ways the church can prevent clergy abuse and help congregations heal. ​

RESOURCES MENTIONED: Website: https://www.thehappymeetium.com/conta... The Small Group Leadership Guide: https://thehappymeetium.lpages.co/the... Pope Issues new Catholic church laws on sexual abuse: https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/... Southern Baptist Convention sexual abuse accountability measures: https://www.npr.org/2019/06/12/731919... Social: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/slarkwoodbury/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHappyMeetium Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sophilia.lark.3 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sophilial... ​

MOST COMMON PSYCHOLOGICAL TRAUMA SYMPTOMS// According to the The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), women are more likely than men to develop PTSD symptoms because they are more prone to rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse as a child. According to a research study from the McGill Journal of Medicine, many women victims experience PTSD within the first 2 weeks following the incident. This video explores some of the most common psychological trauma symptoms that people experience, particularly women, after they encounter a disturbing event that exceeds their capacity to cope effectively.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:
​Website:
https://www.thehappymeetium.com/conta...
The Small Group Leadership Guide:
https://thehappymeetium.lpages.co/the...
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI):
https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/...
Sexual assault and posttraumatic stress disorder article by Kaitlin Chivers-Wilson:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/arti...

Social: Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/slarkwoodbury/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHappyMeetium Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sophilia.lark.3 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sophilial...

HEALING RELATIONSHIPS IN SMALL GROUPS// Trauma comes in many forms and has many sources, but one of the most prominent sources of trauma is relationships. Whether through spousal abuse, family abuse, religious abuse, community abuse, etc., relational trauma requires healing in a relational context. This video discusses 3 ways that safe small groups can help women who have experienced relational trauma achieve healing through trauma-conscious practices that validate, empower, and propel them toward spiritual and psychological growth. ​

ISSUES OF THE CHURCH (WHY CHURCHES AVOID CONTROVERSIAL TOPICS)// God is love and as followers of Christ we make it our goal to reflect this love in our daily interactions with others. But, the love of Christ is not only demonstrated in those things that are pleasant to do, feel, or see, but it is also shown in dealing with the hard things – things some people deem as controversial – if we do them with gentleness and respect. This video dives into some of the “taboo” topics of the church and explores 3 top reasons why many churches avoid broaching these subjects, leaving room for the outside world to fill that space. ​
FAITH AND MENTAL HEALTH (SHOULD PEOPLE WITH MENTAL ILLNESS BE CHURCH LEADERS?)// With the recent onslaught of public suicides and the renunciation of faith among pastors and influential church leaders, many are wondering if people who openly struggle with mental illness are qualified to be leaders in the church. No doubt, satan has struck a mighty blow within the body of Christ, but those who have ears to hear and eyes to see what the spirit is saying know that God is always in control. His plans cannot be wiped out, no matter the depth of attack satan inflicts. This video discusses the recent suicide of Jarrid Wilson, pastor of Harvest Church in Riverside, CA, and two opposing viewpoints in response to that event. ​
WHY CHURCHES DON’T TALK ABOUT TRAUMA// There is a giant elephant in the room, and nobody wants to talk about it. Trauma is one of the most ubiquitous psychological struggles in the world, and the one entity that is supposed to be binding up the broken-hearted, proclaiming freedom for the captives, and defending the oppressed is silent on it. If you haven’t already guessed, IT’S THE CHURCH! Why is it that the one place people are supposed to trust for its safety the most silent organization on the issue of trauma? This video begins the RADICAL RED RANT series where discussion is focused on controversial topics that churches often avoid. This video will specifically discuss why churches don’t talk about trauma and provider deeper insight about changes that could be made.
3 KEY WAYS TO RESPOND TO DISRUPTIVE BEHAVIOR IN SMALL GROUP// In a perfect world, small group leadership would be totally inspirational, motivational, God-honoring, and growth-oriented. There would be no need to game plan for disruptive behavior or boundary violations in small groups, but we do not live in a perfect world. Leadership is sometimes hard, particularly as it relates to confronting boundary violations and managing disruptive behavior in small groups. This is often because leaders fear the exacerbation of conflict or that they will upset the person they’re confronting and cause him or her to leave the group. But effective leadership sometimes requires hard decisions and approaches to maintain the integrity of the group and keep all members safe. To do this, a leader needs to learn 3 key boundary violation intervention skills (BVIS). This video will show you how. ​
HEALING FROM RELIGIOUS TRAUMA: 5 STEPS THAT LED TO MY RECOVERY FROM RELIGIOUS ABUSE// Most people have never heard of Religious Trauma Syndrome (RTS) primarily because it is not an official DSM diagnosis, and because it is still considered strange or in some cases, taboo, to raise questions about toxic faith and abuse in religion and the church. But, RTS is a real phenomenon, and it has exacted a horrendous toll on hundreds of thousands of people who will carry its scars for life. But, here’s the good news: it is possible to recover from RTS and live a fully thriving and meaningful life. This video will show church small group leaders and congregants alike how to create God space to access God’s power for strength to choose life-giving responses that lead to growth and freedom. ​

Week 1: Wisdom of the body

11/29/2017

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​My health journey begins now with one companion that has become my lifelong friend: Carolyn Coker Ross's Emotional Eating Workbook. Today, I have chosen to work my way all the way through this guide to end my battle with food once and for all. Come along with me to learn how I identified the emotional soup of my old life and began engaging in the very critical work of creating new core beliefs to underpin my new life as an empowered advocate and self-healer. 
​
The emotional soup
The first time I learned to identify my emotions with any significance was in the summer of 2000 when I began a behavioral health day treatment and subsequent inpatient treatment program. Just weeks before, I had confided in a friend that I was seriously thinking about taking my life and that I had actually developed a plan. My friend tried her best to talk some sense into me, but with each passing day, the desire for me to end the pain only increased. It was then that I knew I needed professional help. 

Growing up in home where my feelings and emotions were consistently invalidated taught me that my emotions didn't matter. I internalized messages that suggested I couldn't do or be anything I dreamed of being.  I was not free to express internal experiences with any sense of safety, therefore, I held it all in until I found an acceptable outlet. I also learned that I was emotionally intense by nature due to extreme sensitivities to my surroundings and my perceptive qualities. I later found out that these innate qualities were characteristics of giftedness. 

However, having never learned to properly identify what I was feeling caused me to be so overwhelmed by my emotions that I would just shut down. Eventually, I began to numb myself to the pain by using food. I found that food provided a sense of emotional safety, comfort, and solace that I never experienced growing up. One thing Dr. Ross noted in her book was that children who grow up in invalidating environments are more likely than those who don't grow in those types of settings to engage in disordered eating behaviors. Essentially, the invalidating home where I grew up created a traumatic experience that led to emotional eating and toxic stress. I believe the latter caused me to live in fear and to be distrustful of others for more than three fourths of my life. 

Thirty years later
Today, at 38 years old, I now understand how past trauma impacted my body, and that has empowered me to take a holistic approach toward healing. As a result of my own adverse childhood experience and my work with other individuals with a traumatic background, I know that trauma effects the body directly. This means our bodies are the primary carriers of those past painful experiences we endured - the keeper of the memories that permeate all of our senses such that we cannot help but respond to what we see, hear, taste, touch, or smell with angst. But, healing comes by stepping out of that past and into the present moment.

Trauma kept me stuck in the past, where I made it all about the people who did me wrong. Healing, though, is an act in the present moment. My body is the key to my holistic health, but I first had to learn that it wanted my mind to catch up. Those traumatic memories that kept me stuck had to be moved to where they belonged - in the past, and I had to come to the present where my body was waiting to be healed. And now that the past pain is truly gone (but never forgotten), I have begun to live with clarity, purpose, and renewed energy. As Dr. Ross stated, "My body has become my friend." However, that doesn't mean that I don't still have struggles... More to come on that later. 

Yet, here I am, a new creature in mind, body and soul, because I tapped into my body's wisdom by first understanding my emotions and how they came to be so erratic, and then I made the commitment to get healthy in life's most important domains: the physical, psycho-emotional, social, and spiritual. At this point, I'm continuing to listen to my body in the present moment, because it is this renewed body that propels me toward holistic health, happiness, and harmony. 

To your health (pour ta santé)!

​Sophilia



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Do you believe?

11/20/2017

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I've asked myself one question like a broken record for the last two years, "What makes me think I can teach anybody about conquering food and managing weight when I've been disastrous in doing both for twenty years?" So often, that question has been followed by a long stretch of silence as I sat, day after day, congealed in time and space thinking that I may never be able to overcome, let alone teach others how to overcome. 

But then something struck me a year ago that I haven't been able to forget. I was watching a basketball game where my favorite player had just come back from an injury. It had been a few weeks since he had played an actual competitive game, so quite naturally, he was a bit rusty - an air ball 3-pointer, another missed 3, and another, and another.... At one point, he was 0-9 from behind the arc, but he kept fighting. 

When the coach subbed him out for rest, he chose to ride the stationary bike instead of sit on the bench. He was building up for something, which was apparent in the way he stared at the players in active play while riding the bike. Once back on the floor, the atmosphere shifted. Suddenly, he returned to form - the form that had become his signature in the league, the form that produced one highlight reel after the next as he captivated the world with his game-changing style. Muscle memory kicked in and his body followed suit. He uncorked an offensive display that brought the arena to its knees. Even the opposing team's fans could be literally heard "oooohing and ahhhhing." He was back in a gritty show of resilience, putting his team on his back and willing them to victory.

One could only imagine how, at that moment, he might have come face to face with his history of recurring injury and how that experience had made it possible for him to know that he could bounce forward this time and show his full potential. It was glorious! As I watched him put on dizzying dribbling, shooting, and passing sequences that destroyed the defense time and time again, I saw the belief in his eyes. He was not going to let this game slip away. At that moment I whispered, "He believes." 

When the final buzzer sounded, teammates rushed to him, patted him on the back, rubbed his head, and gave jubilant hi-fives in a great expression of joy that their leader had made it back just in time to save the day. Reporters and color commentators alike heaped praise upon him in terms only reserved for the greats. Not only had he overcome, but he also created an indelible moment in basketball history that set him apart from his peers in a league that was supposed to be out of his league. 

It was then that I realized, no matter my history of personal struggle with food and weight, I still have the choice to believe in myself. Difficulty, although exasperating at times, does not negate choice. I could still choose the thing that could help me to overcome. I could believe in myself and then put in the work to achieve what might seem impossible. 

The journey is ongoing, but I have won the battle because I have chosen to believe that I can do what once seemed out of reach. I have chosen to say "no" to the desire to eat and "yes" to the need to eat. "No" to a sedentary lifestyle, and "yes" to 30 minutes of walking every day, whether it's on the treadmill, the trail, or the track.  I have chosen to expect holistic healing by putting in the work to rectify all the dysfunctional levels and layers that served to maintain my struggle with food and weight. I have done and am still doing this because I believe I am worth it. 

Do you believe? 
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    Sophilia Lark-Woodbury

    I am a healing artist, and I believe it is my mission to help other moms like me become masterful life synthesizers and empowered agents through the healing arts. 

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